You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
