Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
