No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
