oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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