what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
