is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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