Nicole vs. Life
Where is the hickey?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
