is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize