Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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