That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
