I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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