omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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