sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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