so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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