Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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