i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
