2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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