Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize