cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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