How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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