I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
