Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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