He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
