he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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