Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
