life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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