yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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