If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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