we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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