need another drink. this is the easiest way
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
