If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
