Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
