He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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