It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He did a backflip because drugs
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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