I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
