I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
