This girl is more easily done than said...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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