I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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