Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize