i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
