Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
