I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
