so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
