Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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