This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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