I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
