Porn is love you can see.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
