I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
