You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
