thus making me awesome and them whores
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My ass is underappreciated
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
