i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
