i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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