i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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