Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
