So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
