what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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