i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
