Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
are you so shy because you have an std?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
