what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
God, I missed his penis.
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