its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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