Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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