You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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