idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
