either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
