note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
