just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
